18:54 in the past...

...I was standing in the crowded bus on my way back from the office. I was standing in the middle of people that are most probably tired and desperately want to get some rest.

The bus stops every once in a while, and some people would go off, and some smiley new people would come in. And in less than a minute, these new people would loose their smile, blending with the other people's frustration in the bus. It was after 5-10 minutes I finally woke up from my "oh man, why does it have to be so crowded!" attitude.

I looked around and saw their faces. I looked around, and think if these people are really "in the bus" or not. Whether they realize that they are alive, and they're right now in the bus, standing, sitting, driving...

I looked around, and it seems like everyone is caught up somewhere in their past or future. They didn't seem to realize the place between the past and the future, they didn't seem to realize that they're in the present...So I asked my self, I made a request to me to always try to be aware about my present.

I took out my pen and paper, didn't care how crowded that bus was, and tried to write down all of these thoughts before I forgot. Again I was reminded of this beauty.

I wonder if the people there realize how significant they are. That their presence is significant to their lives, and the lives of others. That they're not just a part from the world's process and routines. Instead, they are the ones that can make this world significant, not the other way around. Everyone is important.

But then it just happened and connects everything together.

A woman stand up from her seat, and I saw the 2 girls standing close to that chair was looking forward to take over the seat. One of them moved faster and took over the seat when the other was probably still thinking when to move. Without saying anything, this girl just looked the other girl taking the seat, and disappointment was so clear in her face. She probably thinks that she deserves to get that seat after a long and tiring day. And I think the sitting girl probably thought the same, that she deserves that seat more than the others.

Yeah, everyone is important, but our importance doesn't make us perfect.

And yes, a lot of people know that they're not perfect, but they're not acting like they know it. Because if we know that we're not perfect, and we still love ourselves with this imperfection, why can't we stop being selfish by wanting other people to be perfect? We can't we accept and love them too for not being perfect?

I'm not saying that the girl who took the seat was bad or good, right or wrong. I don't know which girl deserved that seat more, I'm not a judge or a jury. But these whole scenes just reminded me of so many important things, and I'm grateful for that.

I didn't feel tired in that bus. Infact, I was glad that the bus was so full, I was glad that I couldn't get a seat, I was glad I decided to write it down.

I'm glad I was reminded... and by writing it down here, I hope this is not something to remember and then forget.

after quite some time I haven't write anything...with smile,
ali